I would like serious answers to this

[Nickoli]

Okay, I have something on my mind, that I cannot seem to come up with answers for.

Why is it that people seem so obsessed with rape? In general. They find they must write about it, have a character be violated, or have discussions about it.

I understand if it is to inform yourself, so you talk, or if it is therapudic. I know sometimes talking about my rapes help me deal with it, but most of these people (not just on here) I know for a fact because I have asked, have never been raped/molested/etc.

What I do not get is why it is such a "hot" topic of discussion.

If you have never been there, you have no idea what its like to look at something, thinking you're in a great mood, then read the words...

And have flashbacks. Ones where you can see, hear, smell, feel everything that happened.

Why do people feel the need to put others through that? If I were to write about something like that, I always put a warning in my title.




This is something I'm seriously intrested about. If you could give me answers, that would be wonderful.


Not to sound rude, but please don't post with, "Yeah, I agree." Because I am looking for explinations of sorts, and that doesn't tell me anything.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this, and for replying.

[Kitty_Chan]

Okay, I have something on my mind, that I cannot seem to come up with answers for.

Why is it that people seem so obsessed with rape? In general. They find they must write about it, have a character be violated, or have discussions about it.

I understand if it is to inform yourself, so you talk, or if it is therapudic. I know sometimes talking about my rapes help me deal with it, but most of these people (not just on here) I know for a fact because I have asked, have never been raped/molested/etc.

What I do not get is why it is such a "hot" topic of discussion.

If you have never been there, you have no idea what its like to look at something, thinking you're in a great mood, then read the words...

And have flashbacks. Ones where you can see, hear, smell, feel everything that happened.

Why do people feel the need to put others through that? If I were to write about something like that, I always put a warning in my title.




This is something I'm seriously intrested about. If you could give me answers, that would be wonderful.


Not to sound rude, but please don't post with, "Yeah, I agree." Because I am looking for explinations of sorts, and that doesn't tell me anything.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this, and for replying.


Well, I think part of it is that people sometimes find it to be dramatic in some stories, to have a loved one be violated and hurt. They may make it to better or worsen a couple in a story.

However, I do not know why it happens a lot in stories. I think it is sad to even WRITE about, and to make a fictional characters life worse or depressing.

I think they should put it in the title if that makes up the story basis, but sometimes it leads up to that climax. I think that there are others ways to make the story dramamtic, so I try not to have anything past PG-13 so I know it won't happen

These are just my personal opinions, though.

[Tracia]

That's what exists in the heart of humans. They want to cause suffering and be in control of it allways, for not to get hurt themselves. They find control and power over the life of others quite seducive, even when they don't accept it (and they won't) cos it's a sub-conscious thing.
A sexual violation is also part of the sexual fantasies many people hold, but would be terrified if they actually suffered one, bcause in their minds, they're still in control of the situation while in a real life rape, the last thing you have is 'control'.
Nevertheless, when people write about this they take out the psichological shock. Some actress once said: "There is nothing sexier than a man who takes control on everything". Being submissive during a sexual encounter is something many females enjoy and want to experience. This is exactly what happens during a sexual assault, but they always forget while writing about it that a rape is something that cannot be planned, and even when they want to represent an unexpected scene for a character, they keep on having control of it, if they want, it all stops just by pushing the 'backwards' key. In real life, this key does not exists.
Most people here will never experience such a horrible thing, where you lose the power to control your own body and become a simple meat puppet for the pleasure of a man. It's the ultime insult to a woman's existance, but they won't know that. For them, it's just a control game.

[dead sephiroth]

wow i wrote bout it cuz i thought its a good topic 2 talk bout

[Nickoli]

wow i wrote bout it cuz i thought its a good topic 2 talk bout

Curiosity sake, what do you find good about it to talk about?

I can understand prevention conversation, but....

[Kitty_Chan]

Curiosity sake, what do you find good about it to talk about?

I can understand prevention conversation, but....

I know what you mean.
It's not that great of a topic to talk about. It's sad, awful, and a terrible thing in our nation's society.

I get so uncomfortable when I talk about it a lot and I get so mad when people joke or tease or don't understand it.

[morgan_1216]

as said befor, people like control and suffering. as far as stories go authors like to invoke emotion with their stories and rape is a "hot button" for most people, and yes is added drama. people who write about it on forums who have never had it happen to them maybe have a family member or a freind who was raped and want to know how it feels (emotionally) so they can figure out a way to help. some people are just curious. ever asked some one about why the OD'd or something like that? its not a happy go lucky conversation BUT humans are curious creatures. i myself was not really raped i guess it was more of molestation.cuz i could have said no and ran out of the room screaming so my aunt would hear but i was like conned into it (and i was only 4 or 5). ever since i dont not like being alone at night especially when its dark and i sometimes have flashbacks when im in the shower. buti dont mind at all talking about it. i dont have really much sensativity towards the issue.

[Nickoli]

as said befor, people like control and suffering. as far as stories go authors like to invoke emotion with their stories and rape is a "hot button" for most people, and yes is added drama. people who write about it on forums who have never had it happen to them maybe have a family member or a freind who was raped and want to know how it feels (emotionally) so they can figure out a way to help. some people are just curious. ever asked some one about why the OD'd or something like that? its not a happy go lucky conversation BUT humans are curious creatures. i myself was not really raped i guess it was more of molestation.cuz i could have said no and ran out of the room screaming so my aunt would hear but i was like conned into it (and i was only 4 or 5). ever since i dont not like being alone at night especially when its dark and i sometimes have flashbacks when im in the shower. buti dont mind at all talking about it. i dont have really much sensativity towards the issue.

Yeah, I understand that. I understand that humans are intrested.

And I'm sorry you had to go through that. But its a very good thing you are able to talk about it. I myself only recently was able to start talking about my rapes. *hugs*

[morgan_1216]

aw thanks *hugs back* ya i mean i dont have any major issues from it but like last year o had extreme self esteem issues and i still have like paranoia about things. but i mean really thats it but i think that rapist should definately get the death penalty, do you? because i mean for the victum-its a life long thing they have to deal with, even if the event was only like 5mins. People usually get some kind of trauma for the rest of their life.

[Nickoli]

aw thanks *hugs back* ya i mean i dont have any major issues from it but like last year o had extreme self esteem issues and i still have like paranoia about things. but i mean really thats it but i think that rapist should definately get the death penalty, do you? because i mean for the victum-its a life long thing they have to deal with, even if the event was only like 5mins. People usually get some kind of trauma for the rest of their life.

I think I can see why some people would want their assulter to have the death penalty. But there is no way I could live with myself if I had my assulter killed. He is my older brother. And it was longer than five minets. He assulted/abused/molested/raped me from the time I was 5 till I was about 15. So I have family that would hate me forever for that. And its not like I don't feel terrible enough the way it is. Though the other three people who assulted me in the past two years, not family, I would be okay with them getting what they deserved.

[morgan_1216]

does your family know ur brother did that to you?

it was my 2nd cousin who assulted me. he was 15 and i was 4. his mom used to baby sit me and other kids in the family. I told my mom one day about it all casuall and stuff. when my mom confrunted my aunt about the fact that her son was like a rapist she denied and i said i got the idea from a disney movie! my mom took it to court and it turned out he was doing the same things to my older cousin and my younger cousin. so in my aunts house they had to have cameras put in the whole house for a while and my assulter had to have a bracelet thing on and counsling. till this day NO ONE in my family ever talks about accept me and my mother. my family refuses to accept that there is ever anything wrong.

[Nickoli]

does your family know ur brother did that to you?

it was my 2nd cousin who assulted me. he was 15 and i was 4. his mom used to baby sit me and other kids in the family. I told my mom one day about it all casuall and stuff. when my mom confrunted my aunt about the fact that her son was like a rapist she denied and i said i got the idea from a disney movie! my mom took it to court and it turned out he was doing the same things to my older cousin and my younger cousin. so in my aunts house they had to have cameras put in the whole house for a while and my assulter had to have a bracelet thing on and counsling. till this day NO ONE in my family ever talks about accept me and my mother. my family refuses to accept that there is ever anything wrong.

Yeah, they know. I finally opened my mouth this past summer.

And I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. Its so terrible and painful.

[morgan_1216]

see with my thought the funny thing is that i had no cares in the world when it happend to me. when the events took place i was kinda confused by what why he wanted me to do all these things but i mean, it was really more stress for my mother than anything. i just rememberd some of my (super close) family calling me a hero because out of the 3 cousins he was doing it to, i was the only one who spoke up. my older cousin loved me for doing so. my other cousins family (i think) wouldnt let her testify in court because the assulter was her uncle! thats really the only thing that bothers me is how the family tries to hush it up. i mean IT HAPPENED so recognize it and at least try to fix the problem.

did ur parents make ur brother go to counsling or anything about it?


i mean it happend to me like 11yrs ago so its been swept under the rug. did your family dismiss it if it was awhile ago?

[morgan_1216]

and forgive me for asking so much questions lol i just dont know manny people who have gone through the same sort of thing and will actually talk about it.

[Nickoli]

see with my thought the funny thing is that i had no cares in the world when it happend to me. when the events took place i was kinda confused by what why he wanted me to do all these things but i mean, it was really more stress for my mother than anything. i just rememberd some of my (super close) family calling me a hero because out of the 3 cousins he was doing it to, i was the only one who spoke up. my older cousin loved me for doing so. my other cousins family (i think) wouldnt let her testify in court because the assulter was her uncle! thats really the only thing that bothers me is how the family tries to hush it up. i mean IT HAPPENED so recognize it and at least try to fix the problem.

did ur parents make ur brother go to counsling or anything about it?


i mean it happend to me like 11yrs ago so its been swept under the rug. did your family dismiss it if it was awhile ago?

It is a coragous thing of you to have done. I applaude you for speaking up. And its too bad your one cousin coulnd't stand up in court.

My parents say they believe me and try to help me out, but its their other child, so there is only so much they can do. You know? But they can't push it under the rug, because it has caused a lot of problems for me, mental, emotional, physical, etc.

[Nickoli]

and forgive me for asking so much questions lol i just dont know manny people who have gone through the same sort of thing and will actually talk about it.

Its okay, I don't mind.

[morgan_1216]

ya thats hard when its your own child who did the crime. but we arent alone. the statistic is like 1/3 of (i wanna say american) women have been raped, sexually assulted or w/e.

[Nickoli]

Yeah. Most of the asults are by someone the victum knew.

A great site:

www.rainn.org

http://www.rainn.org/images/statistics/perptovic05.gif

http://www.rainn.org/statistics/index.html?PHPSESSID=dcd211b9beed90a8b9cfa5de5032a 99e

[AxelsShadowGirl]

Okay so I read this and it made me really sad. I felt so bad for the both of you that it brought back memories that I had left behind a long time ago. I still haven't told anyone and I feel to...discusting to tell anyone. I know how you both feel. I've tried to except the fact that it happened to me but I can't. Its too hard.

[Nickoli]

Okay so I read this and it made me really sad. I felt so bad for the both of you that it brought back memories that I had left behind a long time ago. I still haven't told anyone and I feel to...discusting to tell anyone. I know how you both feel. I've tried to except the fact that it happened to me but I can't. Its too hard.

**Massive hugs**

If you ever need, feel free to contact me, on instant messanger or something. You shouldn't have to go this alone.

[AxelsShadowGirl]

**Massive hugs**

If you ever need, feel free to contact me, on instant messanger or something. You shouldn't have to go this alone.

Thanks.

I seriously glad you made this. I couldn't tell anyone and now that someone knows who has gone through it too. And I feel a lot better. I may even tell someone. (Most likely not. It hurts to much.) But I'll work up to that.

[morgan_1216]

yup same thing here if you want/ need/ think it may help to talk im here. *showers with more massive hugs* . i know how it feels and it doesnt lessen you worth and it wasnt your fault hun.

[Nickoli]

Thanks.

I seriously glad you made this. I couldn't tell anyone and now that someone knows who has gone through it too. And I feel a lot better. I may even tell someone. (Most likely not. It hurts to much.) But I'll work up to that.

Its not easy to go through this. But it may seem like you have to go through this by yourself, that you cannot let it out, that talking will only make it worse. Trust me, I understand those thoughts. Thats how I lived 12 of my 17 years of life.

Its easier to pretend its not there, that it never happened. No matter how little it seemed, or how big it seemed, it is always there. You will be able to do this on your own for a while, but eventually it will get to be too much.

Just keep reminding yourself, there is no way it was your fault. There was nothing you did to deserve the treatment you recieved. You are a beautiful soul, an innocent at heart, nothing you have done wrong.

And eventually, talking about your expierence(s) will help. Not only you, because it is a form of therapy to talk about your past. I know that its hard, and after 12 years of no one knowing, only this summer have I began talking. And it has helped so much.

Eventually too, talking about it will help others as well. For example, if I was not talking about my opinions, this thread would not be open, which would not help you along.

So don't think I'm pushing you to talk about anything, but just know, even though I don't know you, please feel like you can talk to me about anything, if you need.

Because I'm here. I understand the pain. And I don't want anyone to go thorugh that.

And all of that goes for ANYONE reading this.

[AxelsShadowGirl]

Its not easy to go through this. But it may seem like you have to go through this by yourself, that you cannot let it out, that talking will only make it worse. Trust me, I understand those thoughts. Thats how I lived 12 of my 17 years of life.

Its easier to pretend its not there, that it never happened. No matter how little it seemed, or how big it seemed, it is always there. You will be able to do this on your own for a while, but eventually it will get to be too much.

Just keep reminding yourself, there is no way it was your fault. There was nothing you did to deserve the treatment you recieved. You are a beautiful soul, an innocent at heart, nothing you have done wrong.

And eventually, talking about your expierence(s) will help. Not only you, because it is a form of therapy to talk about your past. I know that its hard, and after 12 years of no one knowing, only this summer have I began talking. And it has helped so much.

Eventually too, talking about it will help others as well. For example, if I was not talking about my opinions, this thread would not be open, which would not help you along.

So don't think I'm pushing you to talk about anything, but just know, even though I don't know you, please feel like you can talk to me about anything, if you need.

Because I'm here. I understand the pain. And I don't want anyone to go through that.

And all of that goes for ANYONE reading this.

I know I have to eventually tell my mom and dad but...it stopped sort of. I thought that if it didn't happen as often I would be fine. So many of my friends lie about it and talk as if its a joke. The only friend I think I can trust with this secret is really emotional and if I told her she would kill him. I don't think I'll be able to tell her. I've been keeping it for 6 years now and over the 6 years its happened a couple times and I just push it away as if nothing is there. I just think that if I pretend I'm somewhere else it wont be as bad, but he does this for the sheer fun to watch me squirm, to watch me cry and find ways to torture me. I can't tell anyone the things hes done its to heart wrenching.

[Nickoli]

I know I have to eventually tell my mom and dad but...it stopped sort of. I thought that if it didn't happen as often I would be fine. So many of my friends lie about it and talk as if its a joke. The only friend I think I can trust with this secret is really emotional and if I told her she would kill him. I don't think I'll be able to tell her. I've been keeping it for 6 years now and over the 6 years its happened a couple times and I just push it away as if nothing is there. I just think that if I pretend I'm somewhere else it wont be as bad, but he does this for the sheer fun to watch me squirm, to watch me cry and find ways to torture me. I can't tell anyone the things hes done its to heart wrenching.

Sweetie, I know it seems like that, but he's just going to keep hurting you. If you tell someone, he will be punished, and he cannot get to you to make you cry. I know its hard, but you can do it.

I never thought I could tell anyone, because they would never look at me the same, and I was terrified of what he was going to do to me.

But seriously baby, please don't keep this to yourself.

[AxelsShadowGirl]

Sweetie, I know it seems like that, but he's just going to keep hurting you. If you tell someone, he will be punished, and he cannot get to you to make you cry. I know its hard, but you can do it.

I never thought I could tell anyone, because they would never look at me the same, and I was terrified of what he was going to do to me.

But seriously baby, please don't keep this to yourself.

I'll try. But first I'll talk to you about it. I don't know if I can handle telling someone for the first time with out knowing really how to tell them. Will you help me?

[Nickoli]

I'll try. But first I'll talk to you about it. I don't know if I can handle telling someone for the first time with out knowing really how to tell them. Will you help me?

Of course. If you'd prefer, my AIM sn is Dark2Flower and my Yahoo ID is shad0wglare. And I will do whatever I can to help.

[AxelsShadowGirl]

Okay, I'll sign on now.

[classicalrockchik]

:skull

i think it's because they (the authors) want something dramatic to happen to their character. Besides rape, there are common dramatic themes, like in HArry potter stories, their characters are usually criminals.

Signed, yep,
Foamy

[dead sephiroth]

i also wrote bout it cuz a friend of mine she was raped by her own father

[Tracia]

With all my respect, I have never understood why the victims remain quiet. Well, in a way, I do, but why??

I had a friend like that. And when she dared to tell me, I inmediatly made the acusation. The family almost threw me out of the house, but I took my friend with me for a few days. His brother took it on me later and he tried to abuse me too, but I'm no innocent and the bastard regreted it. With that he went to jail. Her family still hates me for that, but I was not going to allow him to keep on hurting her like that. Did her parents didn't think she was valuable or what??? Why to protect a man like him, even if it's your son? Isn't she your daughter as well?
I hate people who says "Woman provoke it". That is the biggest lie there is.