Story....PLZ read!

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Six Million Sorrows


This is a story I wrote for school...I just want to share it with you guys...so..here it goes...




Chapter One

Hello, I’m Ester and I lived through the Holocaust. This is my story.
When World War 2 started I was five years old and living in Wroclaw, Poland with my family. Though we didn’t have the best living conditions we were happy and content. In my family there was me, my three brothers, Nolan, Joseph and Elijah. I was the youngest out of all the children. Nolan was 15, Joseph 12 and Elijah, my twin brother, was ten minutes older. Then there was Mammy and Poppy. We never had a problem, being Jewish, before. But when Hitler came everything went, to put it plainly, wrong. We had lived in Wroclaw since my oldest brother, Nolan, was three. We were always treated nicely and people loved to come to our book store. But then things started to change in 1939. We saw more and more sings on Jewish store windows saying “Out of Business.” I would hear Mammy and Poppy whispering at night about things they didn’t want us to hear. Then on September 21st, 1939 a Nazi police knocked on our apartment door and told us we had five minutes to pack up our possessions that we needed and get onto the bus waiting for us outside. It seemed as though my mother had know this was coming because she staid very calm. She pulled our only suitcase out from under the bed and told us to pick one book, on stuffed animal and one set of clothes. She then started to put food, blankets and other things into the suitcase. I went to the room that me and Elijah shared and picked my favorite book of the small bookcase in our room. Mother Gooses Nursery Rhymes. I picked up my stuffed bunny off of the bed. I had had that bunny since I could remember. I then went to the closet and took out my favorite dress, a blue woolen one with a white collar. I brought all of this to my mother who put it in the suitcase on top of everyone else things.
“Now, I need you to go and put on as many clothes on yourself as you can.” She told me as she turn to talk to Poppy.
I didn’t ask why I needed to do this, but I did think it was unusual. When I came out of my room, feeling weighed down and stuffy, everyone was ready to go. My mother sighed.
“I should tell you what’s going on or what I know about what’s going to happen to us…”
We stood there holding our breath waiting for her to go on, but before she could go on we heard another knock on our door.
“Hurry up!” yelled the Nazi police on the other side of the door.
“Come on,” said Poppy as he walked toward the door, “we need to get going.”
Poppy opened the door and the Nazi Police was standing in the doorway.
“Excuse me, we will—“
But Poppy never got to finish his sentence. I heard a smack and saw my father face down on the ground in front of me. I head my mother gasp and I saw the veins pop out on Joseph’s neck. But no one did anything.
“You will speak when you’re spoken to.” Said the Nazi Police discussed. I could see that my mother was none too happy about being pushed around, but she didn’t say anything for fear of being beaten. She bent down and placed her hand on Poppy’s back.
“Get up you Jewish scum.” Said the Nazi as he kicked my father in the side.
The Nazi Police turned and walked down the hall to another Jewish family’s door. Father got up and wiped the blood away from his mouth.
“Are you ok Poppy?” asked Elijah.
“I’m ok son, lets keep moving.” Poppy said as he grabbed our suitcase.
I could tell my father was hurt both physically and emotionally but I didn’t say anything. We walked to the stars, down, and out the door. Away from our happy, normal, content lives forever. As soon as we walked out the door our lives changed forever.

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..I guess my story isnt any good....:(

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You people are makeing me sad....:( :( :(

[zippythewild]

I'll read... but may i critique?

Plz read my story too its:

http://www.dollwizard.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13521

I only request that you read the first sentence, because its very long. But I request you read the first sentence because i know as soon as you read it you wont be able to stop:D

egotistical much? a much too much

[star*]

wow! I didnt know anyone really did read this xD. Sure you can. I would like to hear what you have to say.

[1998enm]

That's very good! Can you write more?

[star*]

That's very good! Can you write more?

Thanks! sure I can.

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Chapter Two

When we got to Warsaw it was small, dirty and run down. It smelled bad, there was waste all over the streets and the ghetto was surrounded by a barbed wire fence. We were six people out of half a million Jewish people in this ghetto. When we got off the bus we were pushed and shoved to the dinning hall. We then filed into a line and waited our turn for what ever was going to come. When it was our turn in line we were examined like horses ready for buying. Our teeth were checked, our heart beat, our temperature. Anything they could think of. The only orders we were given was to sew, on all of our clothes, the Star of David and put the word Jude in the middle. The sick ones were sent to the run-down hospital and all others were to report to there apartments. We had to walk across town to get to our new apartment. We still got to live together, but the apartments were much worse then the one we lived in, in Wroclaw. We still had work to do also. Poppy, Nolan and Joseph went to work at a shoe factory. Elijah got to go to school were Mammy worked. I wanted to go to school but mother said it was better for me to work for the seamstresses because I was easy for me and brought in good money. She said we would need the money for our loves here in Warsaw and for our lives once we left and went back home. My mother always kept the hope, that we would leave and lead normal lives again, alive. Now I wish she hadn’t. Maybe then the sting of disappointment wouldn’t have hurt so much when our hope was finally stomped out completely on the fateful day. It was February 15, a day before Elijah’s and my birth day. We had lived at Warsaw for five months and we were just getting settled. I had made a new friend and we had just gotten a new pet bird, Sing-Song Bird, for me and Elijah’s birth day. We never have guessed that we would have to move again. But we did, on February 15th at 5 o’clock A.M. we were woken up with a bang on out door.
“Yes, said Poppy, still a little sleepy, “what is it?”
“Get up and get your stuff together, your being moved.” said the voice on the other side of the door. We got up and heard other people moving around in the apartment as well.
“The whole apartment must be moving too,” said Nolan as ha pulled on his socks.
We packed out few belongings and filed out behind a family with five children. When we got outside we saw a bus that could possible hold only half of us. Yet we all had to fit on to the bus. We found seats close to each other. I had Sing-Song Bird on my lap as the bus leached forward. We drove for hours, arriving at your destination that night. I was soar and tired. We were hustled off the bus and put in a straight line. Then the barracks guards came down the row and checked each one of us over. A man tried to run back to the bus but he was shot down right then and there. I heard many women gasp, but I could do but
stare. When the barrack guard got to me he took one look at Song-Song Bird, picked up the cage and threw it to the ground about twenty-five yards from me. I screamed and watched Sing-Song Bird go limp and die. I tried to run from the line to my bird, but my mother grabbed my arm. I then remembered what happened to the man, who tried to run, only moments ago. So all I could do was stand there and let the tears stream down my face. When everyone was checked over we were hustled off to your bunking houses. Our bunking houses were in another part of the camp.

[Thinkbluethoughts]

Cool. Nice topic. Yet, too much reporting not enough detail. This story seems emotional, I can hear the emotion, but I can't see it, I can't feel it. SHOW ME THE EMOTION!!!:D

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Cool. Nice topic. Yet, too much reporting not enough detail. This story seems emotional, I can hear the emotion, but I can't see it, I can't feel it. SHOW ME THE EMOTION!!!:D

Hahaha. I had to write it for history class..so it kinda had to have alot of facts. Im thinking about re-writeing it though.

[premiumdancer]

I lost all will to read the story when you started it with, "Hello, I'm..." There are better ways to start a story, everyone!

[star*]

I lost all will to read the story when you started it with, "Hello, I'm..." There are better ways to start a story, everyone!

Well, tell me how to start the story better than.

[premiumdancer]

Well, tell me how to start the story better than.

Honestly, you could just take out that first sentence, and the "This is my story" one. It would be fine without them.

[star*]

Honestly, you could just take out that first sentence, and the "This is my story" one. It would be fine without them.

So it would start
"This is my story...."
well no sh.t this is a story.

[premiumdancer]

So it would start
"This is my story...."
well no sh.t this is a story.

...No. I said take out both of those sentences...

[star*]

...No. I said take out both of those sentences...

mmm....yes...Id have to say that would be pretty good too. But I like the begining of my story too.

[premiumdancer]

mmm....yes...Id have to say that would be pretty good too. But I like the begining of my story too.

Well, obviously the choice would be yours. I just think, personally, that starting a story by introducing yourself and stating your name sounds very immature and a lot of people, myself included, would think that sounds like a great way to begin a story...if you're in elementary school.

[star*]

Well, obviously the choice would be yours. I just think, personally, that starting a story by introducing yourself and stating your name sounds very immature and a lot of people, myself included, would think that sounds like a great way to begin a story...if you're in elementary school.

Well, excumes me. Sorry to sound like an elementary story. But even wtih my "lame" beging, I've had people tell me that my story was so good they think I could get it published.

[premiumdancer]

Well, excumes me. Sorry to sound like an elementary story. But even wtih my "lame" beging, I've had people tell me that my story was so good they think I could get it published.

*sigh* I wasn't trying to be mean, I only meant to help. I wasn't trying to insult you, either. And I'm not trying to insult you when I say, just because people say you're story is amazing, doesn't mean it's true. There are a lot of people in general, and on this board, who really don't write very well at all (I'd like to note that I do not mean you!. After all, I've only read the first few sentences of this, and I don't think I've ever read anything else you've written), yet people tell them how brilliant their work is. I also didn't say the beginning was lame, so how you can put that in quotations is beyond me...

[imprincess_tiger]

I like it. It is beteer then some of my stories i have done.

[1998enm]

that's great! maybe more!! I'm not tryin to rush ya its just interesting.

[star*]

*sigh* I wasn't trying to be mean, I only meant to help. I wasn't trying to insult you, either. And I'm not trying to insult you when I say, just because people say you're story is amazing, doesn't mean it's true. There are a lot of people in general, and on this board, who really don't write very well at all (I'd like to note that I do not mean you!. After all, I've only read the first few sentences of this, and I don't think I've ever read anything else you've written), yet people tell them how brilliant their work is. I also didn't say the beginning was lame, so how you can put that in quotations is beyond me...

You may not have ment to be rude, but you were. Thank you for your oppioin (Im not being sarcastic either). I'll keep it in mind next time I start a story.

[star*]

that's great! maybe more!! I'm not tryin to rush ya its just interesting.

Its ok. I got more....

Chapter Three

The next morning I woke up to the sound of Mammy singing Happy Birth Day in my ear. I smiled and uncurled myself away from her warm body. I instantly felt the cold seep in. I shivered violently. I stood up and put on my jacket for my first day at camp Auschwitz. Our schedule for the day was to get up with the sun. That was 4:30. I asked Mammy why the guards said to get up with the sun, when the sun did not rise at 4:30. The only answer I ever got for that question was.
“Shhh, do not ask such silly questions. Just do as you’re told.”
I know that Mammy was only trying to keep me safe. But the answer still hurt. We were then filed up for role call. If anyone was missing the guards would go searching for them. We would have stand there, in our rows, and wait for them to come back and finish the role call. Now matter how long it took, we would have to stand there and wait. After role call we would then heard back to out separate bunking house and clean up. We would make the house nice as possible but we could never get ride of the stench. If our bunking house were exactable to the guards then we were allowed to meet with Poppy Nolan, Joseph and Elijah, who would be waiting outside for us. We had five minutes to hug hello, talk and hug goodbye. We would then go to the female eating center and get our daily ration of a stale loaf of bread and thin pea soup. If some how you had made money or had something to trade you could then buy extra food. Few women could buy extra, but when they did they would store it away. We had ten minutes to eat and then it was off to the work house for Mammy. I was to little, so I stayed behind in the bunk house and entertained myself for five hours each day. I would read my book. I read it so many times I can still remember it today, how the pages felt beneath my cold fingers. How the pictures danced of the page when I was off in my own safe, Hitler free, world. Though I didn’t know it was Hitler at that point in time. I did think that God was punishing me for something I did. But I knew, deep down, God isn’t that cruel. So I pushed that thought aside and thought that the Barracks Guards were the ones who didn’t like us and put us here. I would also play pretend with my bunny. I would pretend that the bunny was me and I was a Barracks Guard. Sometimes it would be a happy ending, sometimes it wouldn’t. If I was not reading or playing pretend, I would sit and the cold floor and stare at the straw ceiling or the wall. I would sit there for house, just like that. With my back against the wall behind me and my feet tucked under me. I would sometimes day dream, but other times I would just sit there with only the thought of Mammy coming back soon, so we could go to role call again at 6:30. That’s how I and my family lived in this camp for two months. Then one morning the women who had first yelled at us couldn’t rise from her straw mat. I had heard rumors about people dieing and then someone coming and taking their place, but it had never happened to us. Though more and more people came to out small bunking house, till the floor was a maze of bodies at night, no one ever left. Until that brisk April morning, when the little girls mother couldn’t get off her straw mat. I stood there watching her, from the other side of the room I felt sorry for the girl for I had gotten to know her, her name was Ruth. We had become friends though we didn’t speak the same language we would communicate through body movements and pictures we would draw in the dirt. We had even shared a few laughs. I stood there watching her as all this ran through my mind. Ruth shook her mother, called out her name, even slapped her on the check, but nothing worked.

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((continue of Chapter Three))


Everyone was bustling about like everything was normal, while I stood there and watched a child lose her mother. I heard the bell ring; time for role call. We all stood in our seven rows and waited for out name to be called. Ruth stood by herself small and helpless with everyone else around her. A single tear slide down Ruth’s face when her mother name was called and no answer came back One of the guards want to our bunk house, went inside and came back. He past a few words back and forth with the other guard then left. He returned a few moments later with two other guards and a stretcher between them. Though the stretcher they had was crude, it got the job done, made of two wooden poles and a bed sheet. The three guards went in and came out with Ruth’s mother on the bed sheet. I will never forget Ruth’s face, caked with grit and dirt. A single tear stain on her cheek and expressionless, empty and cold like a rock. The guard, not caring the stretcher, came up and took Ruth’s hand and led her away behind her dead mother. Ruth never did come back, I later learned she was put in a gas tank with ten other Jews. I never learned why they killed her, but I have come up with my own answer. They thought of her as worthless, just another mouth to feed, and just another body that took up room. After that day I was never the same again.

[1998enm]

im not gonna read it til later im tired and its late!

[1998enm]

ok never mind im bored i read it :D :skull

[star*]

ok never mind im bored i read it :D :skull

haha. Ok...and what do you think so far?

[1998enm]

i love it so far its greatt!