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TailsNyne
06-19-2007, 05:07 AM
~Chapter one
~~Death Road

"You got us into this mess." A grey haired girl, seventeen maybe eighteen sighed sitting on her jail bench. Her brother sitting next to her rubbing his head tiredly.
"Yes. I know, Arise." He answered in annoyment. "Now could you help me think of a way to get out?" He stood walking to the bars and running his left hand down them.
"Only because I don't want to die here." Arise answered placing her hands on the back on her neck.
Now let's go back. Let's say two hours ago.

~Two hours earlier~

A gun was fired. Once. Twice. Third shot. Done. "ASET!" Arise yelled in complete shock. "What the hell did you do?!" She paniced trying to clean the floor of the mens' blood. Three men. Shoot dead. "No one. NO one. Orders me around." Aset growled dropping the gun onto the wooden dinning room floor.
"We're going to go to jail, Idiot!" She yelled trying her best to cover the bodies with a pure white sheet. Aset didn't seem to care as he sat and watched her. Doing nothing. Arise paniced as she picked up the gun with a pair of tongs from the kitchen. Quickly she threw it into a plastic bag and tossed it into one of the drawers. "Serves them right." Aset murmered shoving his hands into his jean pockets and walking away.
"Well you didn't have to shot them!" Arise argued taking a towle and trying desperately to clean the wood from blood.
"What eles was I suppose to do?" Aset shrugged kicking on of the bodies.
"You could of tried talking to them!" Arise yelled standing and looking at him dead in the face with a glare that could kill.
"So?" He answered simply. He didn't mind the glare. Being her twin brother he received it all the time. Arise let out a huff of frustration. "Well. I thi-" Her words were cutt off by the bang on the front door.
"Open up. Police!" The echoed yelled. Arise jumped looking at her brother in panic. He shrugged again. Arise silently screamed as she opened the door only showing her face.
"Can I help you, sirs?" She inquired smiling softly.
"We have report of a gun fire somewhere in this area." A black haired man responded looking at her with narrowed eyes.
She laughed nervously. "Gun fire? Here? Oh. No. Not here." She smiled closing the door. The man placed his foot into the door stopping it as he brought his gun to his cheast. Using his free hand he forced the door open.
He looked a bit terrifed as the men behind him shuffled in with their guns against their cheast. Two of them lifted the sheet and looked to who seemed to be in charge.
Quickly two of the men stood behind the twins violently forcing their hands behind their backs. "You are under arest for murder of the first degree. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can not afford one-" He was cutt off by Arsie's sharp reply. "We can and will afford one and I insist you losen your grip before I force you two." She snapped struggling against the man.
Her brother looked at her oddly as he let the man cuff him in silence. He was lead out in peace as his sister was forced out by two or three men.

((Should I continue?))

zippythewild
06-19-2007, 05:10 AM
~Chapter one
~~Death Road

"You got us into this mess." A grey haired girl, seventeen maybe eighteen sighed sitting on her jail bench. Her brother sitting next to her rubbing his head tiredly.
"Yes. I know, Arise." He answered in annoyment. "Now could you help me think of a way to get out?" He stood walking to the bars and running his left hand down them.
"Only because I don't want to die here." Arise answered placing her hands on the back on her neck.
Now let's go back. Let's say two hours ago.

~Two hours earlier~

A gun was fired. Once. Twice. Third shot. Done. "ASET!" Arise yelled in complete shock. "What the hell did you do?!" She paniced trying to clean the floor of the mens' blood. Three men. Shoot dead. "No one. NO one. Orders me around." Aset growled dropping the gun onto the wooden dinning room floor.
"We're going to go to jail, Idiot!" She yelled trying her best to cover the bodies with a pure white sheet. Aset didn't seem to care as he sat and watched her. Doing nothing. Arise paniced as she picked up the gun with a pair of tongs from the kitchen. Quickly she threw it into a plastic bag and tossed it into one of the drawers. "Serves them right." Aset murmered shoving his hands into his jean pockets and walking away.
"Well you didn't have to shot them!" Arise argued taking a towle and trying desperately to clean the wood from blood.
"What eles was I suppose to do?" Aset shrugged kicking on of the bodies.
"You could of tried talking to them!" Arise yelled standing and looking at him dead in the face with a glare that could kill.
"So?" He answered simply. He didn't mind the glare. Being her twin brother he received it all the time. Arise let out a huff of frustration. "Well. I thi-" Her words were cutt off by the bang on the front door.
"Open up. Police!" The echoed yelled. Arise jumped looking at her brother in panic. He shrugged again. Arise silently screamed as she opened the door only showing her face.
"Can I help you, sirs?" She inquired smiling softly.
"We have report of a gun fire somewhere in this area." A black haired man responded looking at her with narrowed eyes.
She laughed nervously. "Gun fire? Here? Oh. No. Not here." She smiled closing the door. The man placed his foot into the door stopping it as he brought his gun to his cheast. Using his free hand he forced the door open.
He looked a bit terrifed as the men behind him shuffled in with their guns against their cheast. Two of them lifted the sheet and looked to who seemed to be in charge.
Quickly two of the men stood behind the twins violently forcing their hands behind their backs. "You are under arest for murder of the first degree. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can not afford one-" He was cutt off by Arsie's sharp reply. "We can and will afford one and I insist you losen your grip before I force you two." She snapped struggling against the man.
Her brother looked at her oddly as he let the man cuff him in silence. He was lead out in peace as his sister was forced out by two or three men.

((Should I continue?))
i like it so far but the part before "two hours earlier" should be deleted. Everything past that is more interesting and draws in the reader better mind if i critique?

lanaia74
06-19-2007, 10:39 AM
VERY well done!:coolmonkey :angrymonkey :eek:

TailsNyne
06-21-2007, 10:45 PM
The twins
http://i124.photobucket.com/albums/p2/river_destiny_waters/family%20and%20friends/MytwinbrotherandI.jpg

"Arise," The grey haired was easily pushed into the back of the caop car. "Calm down." He said softly to his crazied sister who was pushing and yelling and biting whatever she could. Finaly on of the cops had to place her at gun point. She froze for a moments time before going back to fighting against them. One of the police holding her arms took a swing at back of her head with his wrist watch. "Quiet up." He hissed as she let out a gasp as the golden peice hit the back of her head. "Why you little-" She was cut off by being forced into the back of the cop car along side her brother. Aset sighed, "Must you put up such a fight?" He looked down at his feet with his one uncovered eye.
"Yes. I do." Was her sharp reply. She began to murmer curses under her breath as she stared out the window. Both spaced out and neither speaking to each other made a silent ride.

((Sorry. Not much, now.))