PDA

View Full Version : Flames


Rikku1626
08-14-2007, 09:56 PM
Prologe

A silent sigh of pain excaped her barely breating lips. Looking up into the lavender twilight sky, her fateful end has finally cought up. Wishing she could prolong this horrable moment, she pushed her final strenth and flung a deep lavender flame into the sky. The hand of death pulled back but never left completely, causing anouther sigh.
The air was quicky leaving her lungs but not coming in very well. She began coughing, making it nearly impossable to breath. Death creeped slowly up to greet her, seeming to open his arms welcoming for her. Her coughing grew worse every minute while he came closer, the air stopped coming in. The wind rusled the leaves of the tree standing protectively above her still body while the waves of death crushed down on her soul. A deep lavender tear slid soudlessly down her temple once death took her into his cold, dead arms - making her his.

Ok, please be honest of what you think about that and if I should change it around.

crazy_chick
08-15-2007, 04:50 AM
It sounds alright, but I must say that it's hard to pay attention to the story with so many spelling mistakes!

lanaia74
08-15-2007, 09:52 AM
VERY well done!:eek: :eek: :eek:

Rikku1626
08-18-2007, 04:17 PM
thank you and i know, my spelling sucks, sorry