Counting Fingers-A Monologue

[Zeffa.Belle]

My drama class was assigned to write and perform monologues about something that had happened in our lives. This is my almost finished monologue, finished except for any editing or content suggestions any of you might have. Please, speak up is something strikes you. I like critique on my writings, it builds a better writer.

Without further ado (or ego) , the monologue:

It has been 5 months 18 days 10 hours and 17 minutes since you last told me that you loved me. Rather, since you last wrote me that you loved me…you never said it…Sometimes I wonder what I must have done wrong to cause all this to happen. And for 5 months 18 days 10 hours and 17 minutes I have not stopped wondering.

I have the confidence to stand up and speak my voice, the self esteem to do what I believe in no matter who is against me and some how, all that broke and plummeted with those four little words from your mouth. It was not I who lived in my body, not after that. I was scattered on the winds from the top of the world and just when the entire world was within my sight and reach.

And although you insist, you insist, that it was not my fault, that you just weren’t ready and that I deserve some one who can love me the way I want to be loved, I can’t help feeling like there was something wrong all along. Something wrong with me; the way I felt or who I was. Something wrong with what I did, before you, with what I was or whom I was with…before you…

We were children when we met. Friends of friends, sharing a love of music and words. Words that we so infrequently exchanged…So long ago now, so many things have happened. And so many things have not happened. They say love is blind…well love is also deaf, dumb and senseless. And though I claimed to know it in myself, I put it aside…I put you aside…

Oh, we cannot see what is good when it is in front of our very noses! And I traded you away when you were all I wanted to begin with! I fancied myself grown up, experienced, over you. Then I could count months on fingers…and gods, I realized my mistake. And by then there was nothing left to break. And by then we both got what we wanted.
***

I still remember…exactly, the smell of the leaves as we walked. I heard everything, everything around me, everything except your words. Louder than all; my heart; beating in my ears, just praying that it would keep beating…just for a while… The longest mile in my life… Scattered at the top of the world. Counting fingers until the end of the forest, we’ll be out of the woods…

I. Have. Never. Been. So. Glad. To. See. My. House.

I have never been so glad to see my house, rising up out of the distance, than I was then. And I did the last thing I could, the last thing to save what was left of my heart and to wound you, a parting gift. I did the last thing I could. The last thing…
It has been 3 years 5 months 10 days 16 hours and 11 minutes since I decided that I loved you. And I am resetting my stopwatch.

[SiriuslyRemus]

This is amazing. The kind of thing I really long to see preformed. We are preforming monologs for my drama class currently, and I must say I didn't like any of those that I've seen quite as much as this. It's very lovely, especially the last line. Sounded very proffesional and was just REALLY good. My only problem with it, and this is from a stanpoint of reading, is the bold words. I get the meening,but italics are so much easier on the eyes. Though, this being a monolog to be preformed that doesn't really matter, it was the only little bit that irked me.

[Charmless_Anachronism]

My drama class was assigned to write and perform monologues about something that had happened in our lives. This is my almost finished monologue, finished except for any editing or content suggestions any of you might have. Please, speak up is something strikes you. I like critique on my writings, it builds a better writer.

Without further ado (or ego) , the monologue:

It has been 5 months 18 days 10 hours and 17 minutes since you last told me that you loved me. Rather, since you last wrote me that you loved me…you never said it…Sometimes I wonder what I must have done wrong to cause all this to happen. And for 5 months 18 days 10 hours and 17 minutes I have not stopped wondering.

I have the confidence to stand up and speak my voice, the self esteem to do what I believe in no matter who is against me and some how, all that broke and plummeted with those four little words from your mouth. It was not I who lived in my body, not after that. I was scattered on the winds from the top of the world and just when the entire world was within my sight and reach.

And although you insist, you insist, that it was not my fault, that you just weren’t ready and that I deserve some one who can love me the way I want to be loved, I can’t help feeling like there was something wrong all along. Something wrong with me; the way I felt or who I was. Something wrong with what I did, before you, with what I was or whom I was with…before you…

We were children when we met. Friends of friends, sharing a love of music and words. Words that we so infrequently exchanged…So long ago now, so many things have happened. And so many things have not happened. They say love is blind…well love is also deaf, dumb and senseless. And though I claimed to know it in myself, I put it aside…I put you aside…

Oh, we cannot see what is good when it is in front of our very noses! And I traded you away when you were all I wanted to begin with! I fancied myself grown up, experienced, over you. Then I could count months on fingers…and gods, I realized my mistake. And by then there was nothing left to break. And by then we both got what we wanted.
***

I still remember…exactly, the smell of the leaves as we walked. I heard everything, everything around me, everything except your words. Louder than all; my heart; beating in my ears, just praying that it would keep beating…just for a while… The longest mile in my life… Scattered at the top of the world. Counting fingers until the end of the forest, we’ll be out of the woods…

I. Have. Never. Been. So. Glad. To. See. My. House.

I have never been so glad to see my house, rising up out of the distance, than I was then. And I did the last thing I could, the last thing to save what was left of my heart and to wound you, a parting gift. I did the last thing I could. The last thing…
It has been 3 years 5 months 10 days 16 hours and 11 minutes since I decided that I loved you. And I am resetting my stopwatch.
I love the ending and beginning paragraph.

I was scattered on the winds from the top of the world and just when the entire world was within my sight and reach. >> I like this better without just. I like this, but I feel like there's a better combination in there then what you have currently, but maybe not. I like it. I dunno.

I don't think epeating "you insist" works there, but it depends on the interp.

I also really liked the fourth paragraph. I felt like interp. would be strong there.

I still remember…exactly, the smell of the leaves as we walked. I heard everything, everything around me, everything except your words. >> I think the second everything is too much. I think, this is suggestion...maybe you should...: I heard everything. Louder than all: my heart beating in my ears, (then maybe) thump thump,...(problem is bringing in that "everything except your words" because I love that line..) or I just would cut out that second everything.

The longest mile in my life[/B]… Scattered at the top of the world. Counting fingers until the end of the forest, we’ll be out of the woods…>>these lines confuse me. I do love the last line...but the longest mile...I just feel like they're lines..I don't feel the connection with the prior sentences into this section. I don't know what happened. Did he say something and you were so afraid? Is this the climax? It's interesting to read and interpret, but with acting it would be hard to really get what you're trying to say without saying it.

Why did you repeat "I have never been so glad to see my house"? Saying it, it didn't seem to work for me.

I don't understand what happened. Did you break up? What were the four words? As the audience, I want to know. I read this with interp., so I wasn't just basing it off what you wrote, but rather what might be said. Your interp. may be completely different. So, I really like it. ^__^ I gave my full critque as an experienced speechie interper. This was really good. I would much prefer seeing this in competition than half of the monologues endured.