The Outworld

[TaeKwonDoGoth]

The Outworld


PROLOUGE
Joseph lie in an empty room, surrounded by a sheet of darkness. As he stared at the ceiling, he thought, Why? Why must I suffer this torment? He closed his eyes. He tried to push every thought from his mind. All the stress. All the hate. All the pain. He opened his eyes, unable to banish the foreboading cloud of doom from his psychi. He shivered at the impending nightmare that was soon to befall upon him. All he could do was wait. Wait for the test to proceed.

I
Power On

"Are you ready, Mr. Scottsdale?" Said an old man in a lab suit whom was circling Joseph like a vulture. Joseph opened his eyes. It didn't take long for him to realize that his peaceful sleep was over, and he must face whatever these twisted men were about to throw upon him.
"I hope you slept well, Mr. Scottsdale. Because it is time for your new life." Said the Old man. Joseph squinted his eyes and opened them once more, in hope to see much more clearly.
"New life?" Joseph shook his head in disbelief. "You can't be serious."
"Oh but I am much more serious than you may think." He said with a smile. "You came to change your life for the better, and I will bestow that honor to you."
"You left me in this damn cell for two years now! You didn't make my life better; you made me a prisoner!" Joseph lunged half-way from his bed at the old man, reaching his arms out in the intent to strangle him. The man stepped backwards and inserted a needle into Joseph's neck. Joseph froze as the man injected a dark green fluid into his blood stream. Joseph slowly lied back down, unable to move, or change the shocked expression from his face.
"Temper, temper, Mr. Scottsdale." The man said, relieving the hypodermic needle form Joseph's neck. "We wouldn't want you to be in a compromising mental state when we begin the test." He walked out of the room and the door shut behind him. Joseph was ready to cry. He was taken from his family, his job and his wife. His whole life was shattering like glass before his eyes. A flame was erupting upon the story of Joseph Scottsdale, and only the last few pages were left to burn.
The man walked back into the windowless room with a young nurse, whom was pushing a cart with a strange machine covered with potruding wires. It seemed to be that each wire had a luminosity to it as they lit up, then faded, then lit up once more.
"Don't worry, dear," Said the nurse, grasping one of the wires and a scalpal. "This will be all over soon, and you'll begin your journey." Joseph cringed at the pain of his head being sliced open. Each slice was searing with pain. Thirty-two insicions, he counted. By the second insicion, be wanted to burst into obsceneties, but he couldn't make a sound. Now he felt each wire being slipped into his skull, and jammed withing his cranium.
"If you would please pull the switch, ma'am." A single tear slid down Joseph's cheek as the nurse pulled a large lever on the machine. Suddenly, there was only darkness.

[TaeKwonDoGoth]

I'm almost finished with the second chapter, where a lot more details will be unraveled.

What do you guys think?

[Shojo_Shonen_Girl]

Gosh, Tae-san, It's wonderful. I was eagrly awaiting every next word. It's a very good work of art. The words easily formed an image in my mind. I honestly thought it was good.

[TaeKwonDoGoth]

Thank you. I was just bored last night, so I wrote whatever came off the top of my head until I could put it all into a story.

I'll post the second chapter momentarily.

[Shojo_Shonen_Girl]

I'm awaiting it. :]

[TaeKwonDoGoth]

II

The Awakening


Joseph was surprised as he saw light reach into his sight once more. His pain was gone, he could move. But he looked at his surroundings. There was nothing. He looked at himself, he was monochrome, only an outline of his body was black, the rest of his details, gone. He was floating in nothingness, like a drawing on an unfinished picture.
"Mr. Scottsdale," a foriegn voice boomed from a far away distance, emitting an infinite echo, "welcome to The Outworld."
"The what?" He asked in shock. "Is this some sort of sick joke!" He yelled at the unknown being.
"This is not a moment for me to laugh, but for you to build. This place is whatever you wish to be."
"Well I wish I was home! Away from these bastards and away from- from- wherever I am now!" There was a long silence. Until finally, the voice spoke once more.
"That is not permitted. Though this may be whatever you wish, there are certain rules. For example: You must have a ground to walk upon, and gravity to keep you on it, such as Earth had." A flat plain slowly panned into view. Joseph was slowly carried down by an unknown force. His legs touched the colorless floor, and was no longer floating, but standing on a ground once more.
"There are more rules you need to know before I can let you proceed. Would you like to hear them now?" Joseph thought that he was listening to an automated phone service, but nodded.
"Good. The second rule you must learn is that there is a sky, but there is no way to go past it." clouds grew from the space above him. "Besides the ground, it is your only boundry."
"What if I go past it?" Joseph curiously asked.
"You will simply hit a wall, as this is a one world universe. Space is not part of The Outworld.
"Rule number three:" It continued, "You cannot create beings or humans that were linked to your past life. You are also disallowed from creating a setting from your old life. You cannot see your old family, you may not live in your old house.
"Rule number four: you may not create a clone or duplicate of yourself, as this may overload your mental capacity, and fry your brain." Joseph took a deep breath. That must be the most important thing he will probably know about this world.
"Is that all I need to know?"
"For now, yes. But look around. The Outworld is empty, and we need you to shape it. All you need to do to spawn something from your mind is to think it, and it will become a part of this world. Let your mind run free. Create the world you want to live in. You decide the world..." The voice began to fade. "And you decide your fate." The voice dispersed.

[TaeKwonDoGoth]

Suggestions? Thoughts? Compliments?

Anybody?

[Glyph Bellchime]

Hmm... I like it. Your metaphors, like 'A flame was erupting upon the story of Joseph Scottsdale, and only the last few pages were left to burn.' was very good.

However, I think your chapters need to be longer. There needs to be more explanation of who Joseph Scottsdale is, and why he is in this situation. After all, if you don't snare your reader's interest within the first few chapters, you'll lose their attention.

All in all, I like the premise. Keep writing. :)

[TaeKwonDoGoth]

Thanks, but yeah, you're right. I need to give a little more info about Joseph. I think I would of done better if I made it a first-person story, but kept the metaphors.

Anyway, thank you!

[Glyph Bellchime]

No problem! Write another chapter; I'm interested. :)