White Sky

[Tracia]

The Story of the Whites and the silver prince.

I'll be there
when you wake up at night, you will se my face
when you get up in the morning, you will hear my voice
I will follow you into the shadows
under the rain...
against the winds...
even with the sunshine
I'll be right behind you, but you will never see me.
My voice will haunt you. You can't run
I know where you are
I can see you hiding...
Where will you go if I own the world?
Your world
You know you can't scape, so don't try to fight
when I get you and you're gone
no one will remember you...
You will be just a ghost into the people's minds
No one will listen to your soared screaming
nor to your shouting pain...
Are you sure you wanna meet me?

Ah,, never mind.. I'm just bored, I guess..

[Tracia]

Finally, after eternal days of research, investigation and reconstruction, the team of Memory Recovers from the well known company of Infest, had finished the job in that shreded body. It had been a hard work because of the state of the body and because they had very little time allowed to finish it.
Generally, they were asked to do this kind of job for high range people, wealthy couples who had lost their child or else, so they could upload the victim's knowledge, thought and memory in artificial bodies built to look like them, like androids; this way they could have a short time life to help them finish what they had to do. This time, the order of recovery had been placed for an unknown person identified as Pony, with the specification to extract only the memories between twelve and seventeen in just three days.
They were done already and a group of technitians and specialist came out of the surgery room, stretching legs and rubbing their tired eyes. Leaving the rest of the group behind, a couple of doctors took way to the elevator.

- ¿Had you ever seen a body like this one, Dr. Kyle?
- Never, Miller. Not even in all of my years as forensic. I never imagined anybody could die like that.
- Specially a young girl like that one.
- Yeah... I wonder what took her to a tragic end like it.
- Well, we have the disc. When we edit it, we can take a peek.
- You know we can't! -exclaimed Dr. Kyle as they walked through the empty hallway.
- C'mon! Aren't you curious, really? It's not illegal.
- No, it's not. Is more like... ethics.
- ¿Ethics? If this would be about ethics and morals we wouldn't even work here, breaking the rest of these people and taking away their memories. Would you do that to somebody it they were still alive? OF course not! You would... ask about their lives, wouldn't you?
- Of course.
- Well then, Dr. Kyle, suppouse that what we do is ask, and what we see, is their kind answer.
- Alright -sighed out, not very convinced-. We would have to se a part of it anyway, to ensure the work is well done.
- I like it when you talk like that!
- I would prefer not to do it
- Please! Don't try to fix it by feeling guilty. I know the state of that poor girl's body had a great impact on you and that the man ridiculously called Pony had awaken your curiousity, and although curiosity killed the cat, it didn't die with the doubt, did it?
- You can't keep your nose away, can you? I guess it didn't.
- Of course it didn't!! Cheer up, Charles. Very few times we get to know the secrets of the life of someone in particular. Besides, this story is very promissing! We could make a movie or something.
- Yeah, right.
- Why not?
- Not while you work for me.
- Then I quit.
- You won't see your story.
- Ah.. just kidding.
- I know.

Both man took the elevator and went down to the fifth floor. They crossed no more words till they arrived. The emotion caused by the uncertainty of the girl's dark life suffocated them, not allowing them to speak, not even think clearly.
They entered the editing room and prepared themselves for the second fase of the process. They were cleaning the recording and taking out the pieces of memories unrelated to what they were looking for. That was the easy part of it all.
The building was almost empty, but they had to stay and finish.

- Alright. Here we go! -said Miller as he put the disc into the platform.
The blue screen blinked, apearing a message right after:

TRANSMITTING.
STATUS active_
STATUS play_ y/n[/FONT]

[Tracia]

A tall man was getting close. He wore a black shirt and in his hands he held a dagger. I was behind a young man, tall, blond and dark eyed who tried desperatly to protect me. There was a body dumped on the ground, a friend that now laid dead on red mud. This time, not even the greatness of the sea was capable to impress me enough as to make me ignore what was going on; it was cold and the freezing wind coming from the ocean made me shiver uncontrolably. My feet, submerged in the cold water as they were, felt frozen, but I still gave one more step back into it and the waves begun to drag me further. The boy looked at me with the corner of his eyes and I saw fear and doubt reflected on his face; he probably didn't know what was worst, so he dropped the knife he had and raised his voice:
- Alright, Hioshu. Jusy let her go.
- I can't. She already saw too much.

That man looked at me with a smile that made me anxious, but my protector read his face better than me.
- Are you crazy?! She's just a girl, you can't do that to her!
- Why not? You were about her age when it all started.. we both were, so that shouldn't be an inconvenient.
- Don't do this...
- Shut up, Josh.. You're done.

I was thrown into the water; i felt how the strong waves dragged me deeper and inside and suddenly, a hand took my arm and pulled me out. At first I thought it was Josh, but i was so wrong. The other one took me in his arms to warm me up and wrapped me with his jacket, standind still before the sea.
- Shh.. don't worry -he whispered to my ear-. Don't say a word and I'll take you home safely.
- And Josh?

He didn't answer, just waited till I stopped shaking, put me on his car and took me back to Josh's house. It was dark and empty. He turned on the light of the hallway and took my hands into his, staring straight to my face and watching the heavy tears falling from my eyes.
- Why are you crying? I'm not going to hurt you. If I did, they'd to the same to me, and I don't like it. Don't cry, okay?
- What did you do to him?
- Nothing. Tomorrow they'll come to pick you up. Don't go outside alone, okay? Everything will be alright. Now, go to bed.

He left locking the door behind him, leaving me at an empty house with my hair still wet and the shoes full of sand, smelling like sea.
I dropped myself on the hallway's floor under that horrible, yellowy light. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't, and thinking about what had happened that night, I fell asleep. Just like now.
Time soothes wounds, but it doesn't erase the scars. Even now, I wonder how different would my life had been if I wouldn't have been outdoors that night.
I let too much time to pass and today it's already five years since that isolated event. Two more years and everything would've come to a different ending, but I couldn't take it and I payed the highest price.

[Tracia]

Meridian.
Five years later.

I had spent the longest time away from home and was not wishing to return, I felt so free I didn't want to go back anymore. I had found new friends, i had a new bed... Everything was special and it made me feel good. It was true that I was in a military academy, but what my parents had considered as punishment, I had is as one of my illusions made real. It was tough, that was true as well, but it had a bittersweet taste that made me get up in the morning and be ready before the ringing of the morning bell stopped, no matter how tired and cold I was.
I had a truly exceptional roommate. He was a chinese boy named Fei-Long Xiang, sixteen years old who came from Beijing. He wasn't taller than me and was very skinny, but was quite strong and was a marvelous kung-fu fighter. He was smart, cute and very shy, and that made him the target of the other student's pranks.

- ****! I can't believe it! -shouted while moving about the bedroom nervously
- What's wrong?
- They hid my uniform again, it's the third time this week!! I know I'm the newbie but do they ever get tired? Crap...
- You know who that was, why don't you just make it stop?
- Easy for you to say, everyone respects you.
- Respect? That ain't respect! It's rejection. they don't like the idea of a girl being better than them in a terrain considered "man terrain"
- Yeh.. specially someone like you
- What's that suppoused to mean?
- Uh, nothing. Forget it.
- Of course not, what you mean??
- Okay-said he, sighing-. I'm your friend and you know I don't like this kind of things, but people around here... talks.
- Of course they do, but what??
- They say you're into dirty stuff. That the ones that come visit you belong to a mafia or something like that I heard.
- Mafia...
- Yes. They said you killed someone and some say your past is just as twisted as your mind.
- I have a twisted mind? Mother of Christ!!-I said, laughing.
- Yeah, you know. Your eventual crazy ideas and your excelent notes in Strategy.
- Got it, alright! And what do you think?
- I dunno. Even if it's true, I don't care. I trust you and we're friends, right?
- Sure, thanx.
- Hey, don't tell anybody I told you this things or they gonna kick the nuts open.
- don't worry, I'm a tomb.

We left the dormitory and headed to the front yards, where we ran a circuit as always. They we went back to take a shower and went to the dining room for breakfast. It was early, just 7:30. We had twenty five minutes to eat and then the first class begun at eight o'clock with Grammar. At nine we had chemistry; at then, Math; at eleven, Sofware management; at twelve Mechanics and a break at 1:00 p.m. We had an hour to eat and rest and some even to change their clothes, then we went back to the classrooms for languages and codes, followed by the class of three o'clock: Strategy.
Our brains were drained after all that, but physically, our energy seemed to get acumulated.

- Wow! Another day done -said Fei, stretching his legs like noodles.
- Now comes the best part - I added
- I know. What will we do today?
- Maybe they send us to the red circuit. Sargent White told us this week was our turn, remember?
- Oh, yes... I hope we can go together.
- I don't.
- Really? Why not?
- Because... -said while pointing discreetely at a guy with black hair and grey eyes.
- JC?? Oh, no, Mikky, you gotta be kidding me!ç
- Of course not! Why would I be? Look at him!
- I know nothing about that.
- Why not? The way I see it there's nothing wrong with it.
- They way you see it would mean be called fag the entire year for me.
- Xiang!!
- Leyva!!

We walked laughing through the hallways quickly, with enough time just to drop the notebooks and pick up our berets, the crown of our uniform; that blue uniform that made me shiver. I wondered what would it be of us when our berets became black next year, and better yet, how many of us would be there to wear the glorious red beret. I wondered how many of us would be called Cadets and how many would be honoured with the silver sable the day of our graduation...

[Tracia]

Days were long and trainings heavy, but It was alright. I already had a month there and I was only seventeen. I was one of the youngest and I was a girl, which didn't make it any easier at all. None of our superiors did any kind of exceptions t woman. Once there, you were no male or female, black or white, you were just a being preparing as a soldier.
Either way, I was not the only girl around, the institute counted with another twenty three on the four grades, but we had no time to hang out. I could only talk to one of them named Noel Brick. She was very quiet, serious and sometimes even apathetic, but we understood each other quite well. Her room was in the same corridor and every once in a while we crossed a line.
Every sunday fifth we had complete liberty to go out wherever we wanted to go from 00:00 to 23:59, and we shared a couple of sundays together.

That's how we spent the first six months. Very soon, Christmas will come and there was going to be a small celebration because we weren't allowed to go home. The cold weather froze our bones and in a windy night of half moon, I sat on the steps of my building staring at the clear sky. I loved that kind of nights; they were magical.

- Would you mind if I join you?

I turned around to see who was that. it wasn't normal that somebody would come close and talk to me like that, so I couldn't help blushing when saw the grey eyed guy standind besides me.

- JC! I didn't expect to see you. I don't mind, please, sit.
- Is not the first time I see you out in nights like this one, but I ocurred that it would be better if I stopped looking and started to talk to you instead.
- Some times you have very good ideas.
- don't be like that, I want to get close.
- REally? How much?
- As much as you let me. I want you to know that I don't think like most of them. I think you are better than all of them and you shouldn't be influenced by such people. You'd crash them.
- Like you hae no idea.
- You're a puzzle, you know? At least for me. You're pretty, smart, fast, strong, very intelligent... But I know nothing about you. Fei must be quite fortunate.
- Not as much. But well, I'm not just another student. I live for this.
- I know. And I also know you've been watching me, I've catched you. And because I've seen your glance before, I can tell you you've changed.
- Have I? How?
- Can't explain. Two weeks ago, tho, at the throwing knife practice, you made me hesitate. I'm sorry I cut you, really.
- Not to worry. It was just a scratch.
- It was, but there was something in your eyes that begged for something else, like... you wanted me to put the knife through you instead of the wood. Did I alucinate?
- Maybe, maybe not...
- What are you hiding, Micaela?
- Nothing you should know. How do I know I can trust you?
- You can, and you do. If you didn't, you would've gone from the start. You wanna know why am I here? I did kill someone, and since I was a minor I spent a year in the reformatory and then my parents arranged I was sent here. I'm property of the national army, but you know? I started to like it.
- I belive you. But I can't tell you anything... not yet. Perhaps, with time.
- That would be great. It's late, aren't you going to sleep?
- Sure, in a minute. You go.
- Okay. See you in the morning.
- Til tomorrow.

JC left and I was standing there waiting for him to disappear. Once he was gone and there was no one else around, I ran heading to the back yard of the building and climbed an old tree, scaping over the stone wall. I left in silence and ran through the little forest that circled the entire academy. Near the road I saw a motorbike, but no one was there. I took the note atached to the seat and read:

"Sunrise Cafe"
805 E 1st street.

[Tracia]

I jumped on the motorbike and went quickly to that address, 20 minutes away to my usual speed. When I arrived, I found myself in front of an empty coffee shop. It was locked, so I tried the back door and I found it half open, so I went in. The lights were off and I heard the sound of a gun when you take out the safe. I pulled a lighter out of my jacket and turned it on to draw a figure in the air.
The gun was locked again and an orange light was turned on. There was a young man before me with his face covered and carrying a katana. Another two were behind him, one of them taller with northamerican features and a sad glance. The other one wouldn't let his eyes on sight, hidden under the red locks of his hair.

- How is it going? -asked the one with the sword.
- Well -I answered firmly-. It ain't that hard.
- I bet it isn't. TIme's gold; Shura and Kari will go with you.
- Where to?
- You don't need to know. Your target is a fourty seven year old white man, dark blond hair, green eyes. He's a manager at a supermarket. Tonight, you'll make a monetary exchange for his son, who was kidnapped two days ago. Release the boy, pick up the money and kill the kidnappers. I want zero witnesses.
- Will Shura do the exchange?
- He will. You all know the rules.
- Alright...
- Mik, wait -said walking close-. Use this ones this time.

It was a leather belt with two slicers sets inside.

- May I ask why?
- We can't let a profile to be built. We're hunters, not killers.
- It's the same for me. Leaving.
- Play clean, Mik!

We came out of there and jumped on an old Cherokee 1996. Nobody was saying anything, on the contrary, everything was so quiet I could even notice Shura's breathing.

[Tracia]

After ten minutes on the road, we stopped before a house that looked just alike any other house. Kari jumped out the car and entered, bringing back a seven year old boy with the eyes covered and hands tied. Once back on the car, when we headed for the next location, the boy asked:

- Where are we going now?
- Somewhere else -Shura said, simply.
- My hands itch.
- Mik. Check him.

I did as I was told and moved him to see his hands, realizing his little hands were getting cold and a little dark.

- God! Who tied this boy?
- What's wrong?
- If we let the cord till we arrive, he won't go back complete.
- Cut them.

We had always been taught not to mistreat the package, so I was a little upset and cut off the tie. Before I knew it, we stopped again and Shura ordered us to go out. Kari remained in the car and we walked to the entrance of a building of apartments. Shura went up first, taking the boy with him and telling me to wait there, so I did. A couple of minutes later I saw him go down the stairs with a briefcase in his hand and til then I went up, taking the elevator. I came out in the fourth floor and walked to end of the hall to a door with a white bow. I opened it. The boy was sitting on a chair at the center of the room. All of a sudden, three man came out from different places, armed and aiming at me. I was all ready by then and since the locks were still on, victory was mine. I heard a voice from behind the bathroom door asking me who was I, but I did not answer; I saw only his shadow close to the door as I threw four slicers at it. A small blood thread showed up from under the door; it was time to leave.

- Where's daddy?

The voice of the boy made me stop, he was scared of what he had heard. I knew I was not suppoused to talk, but that little boy broke my heart.

- You have no father. Your mom will come for you.
- Does she know I'm here?
- I will call her.
- Do you know her?
- Do you always ask so many questions?
- Are you evil?
- Sometimes... -I said.

I left the room quickly and ran down the stairs, I was distracted and couldn't see beyond my nose, crashing with Shura's chest.

- Fool. You're not used to it yet?
- I think I'll ever be.

Back in the car I cried silently, all I wanted is to be in my bed and one hour later we arrived to the Academy. I climbed to my room on the second floor and entered quietly, taking off my boots I dumped myself on the bed and covered up to the head. What a horrible night.

[Tracia]

At first, I remember I hadn't noticed the great danger I was in, but slowly I started to. Missions were every time more exposed and the victim list was growing. Even so, there was nothing I could do.

Lately, I was having trouble to sleep and life was beginning to look like an eternal nightmare I had to hide forcefully during the entire school year, which, by the way, I finished successfully, academically speaking, and before I knew it, I was wearing the black beret. In addition to that, the ocasional relationship with the grey eye guy was now sort of a nice, informal relationship that lutenant Sum was not too happy about, but at the same time he didn't try to avoid it, maybe justificated by our excelence.
Mi friendship with Noel had grown too, and we told our secrets encrypted in such a way we hadn't noticed what we were truly saying till one day when I was already too late.
It was a saturday, free of homeworks and delayed exercises; a beautiful day of february, rainless, windless... perfect. JC came to me as soon as he saw me, dropped the basket ball to run towards me wearing that big, perfect smile of his.

- I wish -he told me, embracing me- none of this would ever end.
- Do you know how I feel? -I asked.
- Same way?
- Kind of. I would prefer to go out of this school and start a career in the Logistic departament. To see myself in the mirror every morning and see you reflected there, lying on the bed, always.
- And after a tireing day of work, be able to go back home and having someone I can tell how much I hate my boss, so you can laugh and tell me how little you care since it is not your boss, to make me laugh too.
- I love you.
- And I love you.
- Is almost like, an irony, don't you think?
- What?
- That I came here and, in the middle of all this machos, I find a man like you.

We walked to my scaping point, a part of the garden surrounded by trees and covered with grass. I sat on the ground and he dumped himself aside, with his head resting on his arms crossed under. Sunset was starting.

- Look! -exclaimed poiting to the sky-. The fist star. Make a wish.
- Mmm... okay. Done.
- What did you wish?
- I'm not telling you!
- Why not?
- Is bad luck. Did you make a wish?
- Yes, but I'm not telling you.
- Hey!
- What! Is bad luck!

We laughed as we joked and I rested my head on his chest. I heard his heart beating fast and giggled. We stayed a little longer and then went back to out bedrooms saying good-bye with a kiss. God! How I loved that man.

[Tracia]

Sunday fifth.

I woke up late, something around eight. I fixed myself quickly and got ready to go out and enjoy of the rare free days. I felt the day was going to be full of surprises and was overwhelmed by the exitement that passing the day with JC provoked me. I ran through the hallway were I met Noel, she had the most serious face I had ever seen on her and the darkest aura as well; I shivered, but talked to her while going down the stairs.

- What's wrong, Noel?
- I've got something to do.
- On sunday fifth?
- No... That other duty of mine. Is been long since they don't ask me for anything and then they show up with something like this. I'm not sure, I feel like I have lost my practice.
- Sometimes you feel like that. Shura's been worried that something alike happens to me and now asks me to go... What's the matter?

She had stopped in the middle of a step, eyes wide open staring at me.

- Shura? -finally asked.
- UH.. yeah...
- White...

I was impressed to be called that, how did she know? I had told nobody and then, I knew there could be only one reason, one that gave me no happyness at all.

- Slayer -I guessed. She took a deep breath and, based on our friendship, wanted to give me some sort of advantage by mentioning the name of her victim:
- JC

[Tracia]

We both stood still for a brief moment at the stairs. AFTer, as if something hit me in back of my head, I started running downstairs and outside looking for JC and with Noel steping right behind me. I ran out the building and saw him standing at the gate, where he was suppoused to be waiting for me; I shouted his name and he looked at me, but I was still far and Noel took me down. I was just about to rise when she kicked my face so hard I couldn't get up and before I could even open my eyes I heard tough beatings, a car and then several running steps.
When I finally got on my feet I ran behind and I reached the place of the motorbike; it was still there, so I took it and began my persecution. In a bag on the back of the motorcicle I found a gun, and I shot once I got closer. I hit the wheels and the car lost control and overturned. Once it stopped, I climed down the bike and took a chinese sword hidden in it with me. There was movement and Noel appeared from under the crashed car.

- Don't move -I told her, but she grinned evily.
- You ain't stopping me, white... Not now.
- Let him go or I'll kill you.
- Well, you better do that fast or the boy down there, is dieing.

Without thinking it twice I attacked her and she just fought back with a piece of steel from the vehicle. After a few minutes, I hit her and she walked back, very close to the car and with a wound in her left leg.

- You're forcing me do this. I didn't want you to watch.
- Don't do it then.
- I can't, and you know that. I'll die anyway.
- What? Don't!!

And a second after, pulling a remote out of her vest, she blew herself up, exploding the car as well. I was astonished and breathless, and as the sound cleared away, in my head the image repeated itself a million times. JC was still inside, unconscious, now being consumed by the flames...
I turned my back on the scene and dropped the sword. I heard noise as time came back to its flow. The students and teachers were surrounding me as others put off the fire, but i couldn't move.
My friend and roomate came close to me and said nothing due to my expression, he only embraced me and encoraged me to cry and take it out, but his arms were not JC's arms. Once again, I had lost.

[Tracia]

"The next few days i refused to leave the bedroom. Not only I was depressed, but also felt sick for some reason. Xiang tried unceasantly to get me outside, but i just kept on fighting back for not to get out of bed till he surrendered.

- Alright -he said one morning while placing a hand on my forehead- I'll make a sickness report for the rest of the week, but you'll have to go to the nurse.
- Thank you - i whispered.
- Don't worry. Just... please, recover.

He said as he went out the door.
As the day passed, i only laid there as if I was dead, barely breathing and completely motionless. I watched as Xiang came back from school and went out again. For me, every sound of the camp was so faraway... I waited till the night and then i finally decided to go out. I needed to see him. I needed to tell him so many things, no matter how unsure about it I was; and so, I left the campus and called for a cab that took me exactly where I wanted to go, back to that empty coffee shop from before.
I didn't even knocked on the door, I simply entered and didn't react at the sound of an unlocked door.

- Oh it's you...
- Yes, it's me.

Shinta locked the gun again and put it away as he turned on the soft light of his oil lamp. He barely looked at me and I observed silent as he sat on the floor.

- You want some tea? -asked kindly.
- I want blood - i said, sharply.

At my response he rose his sight and frowned slightly, then taking a deep breath, he sipped on his cup of tea and said:

- We're not here for personal revenges, you know that Mik.
- I know, but what they did was unfair... and unforgivable.
- It is unfair, but it's not unforgivable. When life has turned out back on us, we should always...
- Shut up! Don't start with your zen ****!

He looked surprised at my reaction, but remained silent so I continued.

- What is zen worth when it doesn't let your comprehend one single feeling?
- Revenge?
- No! Love... Do you even know that word, Shinta? They took from me the only thing I had left for myself, I cannot keep on living like this anymore.
- You have me...
- You are something different. You are my master, my teacher, my brother and father, my friend... I could never love you like I loved him.
- If I'm so many things, then I should be enough.
- But you're not. And if I have to quit on you, i will, but I need to balance this.
- One person also died there, one that it was not from our team
- Yes, but that was a fukin sacrifice! She would've given her life for whoever her leader is while JC was a victim of that sacrifice! One that shouldn't have died. I'm charging that on their account, but I have to do it now.
- You know what would happen if you killed one of them for no apparent reason?
- Yes, and if I had to die for it, then it would be My sacrifice.
- You will not do it as long as you're part of this team
- Then I quit. You know how much I hate it. This way you shouldn't be harmed either.

i said the last phrase as I put on the floor the pack of daggers he had given me before. He was looking at the ground, and as I forwarded to the door, he stopped me on my tracks by saying:

- I can't let you do that. If it's so important for you... I'll see what can I do... for both things.
- Both things?
- Your so called "revenge", and your liberation.

I was left breathless. Why was he risking himself for me like that?

- What is it that you want? -I asked.
- I only... want your life to be kept. But I will need Tsunku back.
- Yes. I'll have it ready by tomorrow afternoon.
- Good. I'll go get it at 14:20

I nodded and whispered a good-night that hid a good-bye underneath. I had gone there to give up and surrender my life to whoever I needed to cos I felt like my world was destroyed, and he, with just a glance, had given me more than a thousand reasons to keep on living... Why?"

[Tracia]

The next day he appeared on my door early in the morning while every other was running at the camp. He looked so calm, but his eyes had a painful expression of sadness. Now when I look back at that moment, I realize that if I had ever been selfish in my life, it was then.
I gave my sword to him, locked into its coffin and hidden from sight and could not even stare straight to his face. I felt some how ashamed, but he lifted my face with his hand softly and managed to give me a smile, one that I would miss forever.
Off he went, walking to his death on a red carpet. By that hour, the entire Association had knowled of the event to happen and they were all expectant. The white leader was going to fight for a subordinate, a woman... a child.

[Tracia]

I heard nothing from Shinta for weeks, even months! I had restarted my activities at school and at the train camp as well, but this concern about his well being had started to eat me inside. Anyone would've call it "guilt" and perhaps I would not have been able to deny it. I felt guilty and I knew it would be worst if I had no word of him soon, but anyone responded. They all seemed to have gone away with him.

[Tracia]

No beeper sounding, no cellphone ringing, no email arriving... nothing.
"What's the matter with you?" asked a girl she used to team with. Her name was Allana. Her eyes were blue. "You've been like this for a few weeks, you're worrying me. It's all okay?"
"Yeah... i guess" she answered lazily. She could not say much about what was going on with her anyway.
"You dont look like it is. I'm so sorry about what happened to JC. Nobody saw it comming. She was so... normal. No one would've guessed she had some issues on her head. People even says she went mad because she was inlove with him and hated you for taking him away. It sounds ridiculous to me, and I know it's not true, but now he's become like some sort of a legend"
"Legend? I dont think so. Is more like... an urban dirty horror tale"
"Maybe. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you by bringing this up"
"It's okay..."
"I only wanted to come closer 'cause you've been so distant that I felt like.."
"I said it's alright!" I shouted. I had bigger problems that that now. She obviously felt rejected.
"I'm sorry. My bad. I'll leave you alone now"
"Thank you". And off she went. I don't remember ever talking to her again. I felt a bit bad for not being able to explain myself and justify my behavior, but how could I? I needed to know about Shinta as soon as possible, and to do that, I'll have to run away. And I did.

[Tracia]

I ran away. Is not like anybody would've cared anyway, but I still felt a little guilt. Still, that guilt was nothing compared with the one I felt for having Shinta go to battle by himself for something he didn't even believed. I felt stupid and seeked refuge in that lonely caffe where we used to meet and waited for days in a hope to hear from him, but I was isolated from the rest of the team. Without him, I had no way to contact them.

I fell asleep one evening after a couple of blank nights finally giving up my hopes, when I found him again. He stumbled through the door and fell on the floor like a heavy sack, and the noise woke me up. He, the state he was in, well... I never even dreamed on seeing him like that. His white shirt and jacket had a dark stain on the side that had spread all over and looked still humid; his hair was wet and sticky from sweat and his face... my God his face... I ran to him like crazy and I didn't know what to do, I froze before him and watched him bleed until I heard his voice, then I ran to find something to heal him. I didn't move him. I was too scared for that, what if I hurted him more? Had no idea what had happened to him, but I cry helplessly as I sewed that space where his left eye had been. I had commited the biggest mistake.

[Tracia]

A few days passed by and he didnt seem to be healing well. He had fever a couple of nights, but he refused any kind of medical attention, repeating obstinately I was enough. The third night, as I began to change the bandages, heard a knock on the door. Three dry, firm knocks that sent a shiver down my spine.

I got up to get the door, and before I opened it, the visitor came in. Hearing a gun, my gun, get unlocked, he stood still and rose his hands to the air.

- It's me - he said, still not moving
- Who's me?
- Rothrock. Can I move now?
- Yes - I answered without putting the gun away until I could see his face. There he was, Rothrock, just with his hair a mess and turned into a bunch of red threads. - I wasn't sure it was you, barely recognized you.
- That was the idea. Where is he?
- In here.
- Is it bad?
- Yes. Sometimes it still bleeds.
- I see... - he said, walking into the room where Shinta was lying, surrounded by cloths stained in dried blood. Looking around while taking off his brown leather jacket, he continued talking to me as if Shinta would not hear. - Sorry for not sending an answer, I couldn't risk it. When the Association sent the new of Shinta's clash, B sides started hunting us like crazy.
- How are the others?
- The others? There are no others as far as I'm concerned.
- What's that? Are they dead?
- I dont know. They better are. I wouldn't be able to keep on living like a scared chicken, ready to be slaughtered any other day. No... We cut out communications completely a couple of days later. You were lucky I kept my old palm and checked it once more before I dumped it.
- Sure I was. Although I wish it had been Amy.
- Amy? Why?
- Cos she was the medic.
- Ah, yes. The medic - he said, looking at Shinta with a frightened look. After a moment of self interrogation, he continued - Is he gonna make it?
- I think, but... I don't know. I feel so guilty - I dared.
- Guilty? What for?
- If I hadn't been so reckless... If I hadn't told him I wanted revenge so badly, he wouldn't be there. None of us would be like this.
- Um.. yeah. You should be. I always insisted on not recluting children for this job, but well... he didn't listen. He is just as childing as you are. You need to grow up if you want to survive.
- Come, help me with this.

I taught him what he should do as soon as I removed all of the bandages and even when his face showed how disgusted he was with the sight, he continued helping me. I was most greatful he was there, even when he was not one of my favourites, but he was not the hesitating kind, and somehow I felt a bit more secure.

- So, what are you doing now? - he asked once we were finished, washing his hands in a saucepan full of water, tainting it orange with the remains of blood he was washing off.
- Do about what?
- Hmph... Teenagers are brainless indeed. He's out. He's got you out. Now what?
- I don't feel like I should simply disappear.
- ah, now you changed your mind - exclaimed as a complaint, standing up as tall as he was - He gives his life for your phucking freedom and now you decide you dont want to leave??? Girl you have to grow up and make up your mind about this because this is no phucking game! You can't just go out there and seek revenge any time like you're so mighty cos you're nothing, you hear me? You're nothing!!
- You dont' have to talk to me like that!
- this seems to be the only way to ever listen to anybody! Look at him! Look -at - him!! Don't turn around! If you think you can go and get revenge for this, you better prepare, because you are going to be alone.
- i thought you...
- That I what? That I had come back for you? Stupid brat. I came for him and him only. So you better think your next move very smoothly, because once he's able to stand up by himself, you will cross that door and be on your own.
- I have nowhere else to go!
- You should've thought of it when you first came here asking for revenge on the life of a sympathetic lover of yours.

His words hurted me, but I remained silent since I know he was right. I wasn't sure if I wanted revenge, but if what he said was true, none of us was safe. Rothrock could take care of himself pretty well, but Shinta would be too weak for too long and I knew I was no rival for any of them.
I never met any B Side before, but if we hunted criminals, they hunted us.