Relationships...?

[NurseMayhem]

Okay, is it just me or is nearly everyone on Dollwizard IN LOVE. Or with the love of their life?

Don't get me wrong, congrats your happy....but most of the people are so young. There is a difference between loving someone and being in love.

Please, I don't want a load of responses justifying your relationships. I was just wondering if theres anyone else here who thinks it takes more than one or two months of a relationship to fall in love?

Hell, I've been in relationships where I thought it was love, but it was not in love. Puppy love maybe.

I dunno. Maybe its just age differences and the way people throw love all over the place.

I'm just spurting ideas out, cause I've been noticing it.


...yeah. Again, this isn't to offend any of you lovers...

[Guendolen_Sama]

No, I feel much the same way. Granted, it seems to be part of the age. Teen feelings are a sweeping and dramatic thing. You feel this pull toward a person, and automatically decide you must be in love with them. I saw it in high school, all the time. All the over the top gooey couples going on about how, "Oh, we're in love!" and "We're going to be together forever!" These feelings pretty much inevitably burned themselves out quickly. I'll never forget an example from my senior year. There were these two in a lower grade at my bus stop who were just like that, the "Oh oh, we're in love" schtick, hanging all over each other and making out at the bus stop at like 6:30 in the morning.... Ugh. A few months into the year, I left for a few days for an activity trip. Came back... and suddenly they hated each other's guts and pointedly stood as far from each other as possible. What I'm saying here is that for so many young people (and sometimes not so young ones), it's so very easy to declare oneself "in love," and just as easy to fall out of it. Feelings change like lightning, at such an age in particular. More people just need to remember that they may be flying high now, but their now isn't necessarily their forever. I've tried to say this more than once. Sadly, most individuals don't listen.

[Nickoli]

*Hugs you* I knew someone out there understood the feeling! (By the way, NurseMayhem is my non-mod name, I've been trying to use that for mostly RPs and this to kick into mod-mode again) But I think I've noticed it a lot because I am in a serious relationship. I have been in longer ones than this, but this one is making me settle down. We will be moving in over the summer (hopefully) or during next semester, and I look through some of the profiles here and I wonder, 'oh goddess, did I sound like that ever?' Also, the relationship, the he I am moving in with...he says hi. Remember Kyrin? *grins and scuffles toes*

[Guendolen_Sama]

Kyrin? Seriously? Oh, that's fabulous! **squeal and tackle** I'm so happy for you both! Please, tell him hello from me! I still miss roleplaying with him.... But yes, I understand how you feel on this very well. I know how it is to be caught up in a feeling and only feel that. I've never been in a relationship, so not that, but other feelings (such as that events over the past few months have led to periods of incredibly deep depression). And yes, it's hard to see the bigger picture from that emotional sphere. I just wish more folks would listen to those of us who are older, looking in from the outside. Our heads aren't filled with sparkly pink clouds, so we're more likely to be speaking some sense.

[rockerchic24]

I'd say... Possibly some people are slightly over-exagerating, and some people are truely right. I don't know... My mom always said, "Love has no limits. Age, race, job, money." -shrugs-

I'd also say, however, that I think that dating before college is profoundly unlogical, myself.

[Nickoli]

I dissagree. My head is always filled with sparkly clouds! Though I have cloud vision where I can see through them sometimes. I don't know, I just think its unsafe for kids now to get so attached to someone they will 'throw away' or move on from in a month, or in a few weeks. Its desensitizing them. And the youth of America, well of the world, has enough problems the way it is, we should try to keep love something to strive for, not something to get whenever you want. And *squees back and does a dance* He says he misses your rping too. We were actually talking about you and the rp the three of us were in earlier this week.

[BlytheOhBabyy.]

*Shyly raises hand*
Erm, I've only been in 3 relationships in my life, and I'd have to say that it is true, what you say about young teens being "in love". x) I admit, I thought I was in love once, but soon I realized, "It was not even 10 years ago that I made mud pies and chased after beetles. How can I be IN love?"
Of course, I'm not saying I didn't love the people I was with. But like it was explained, It was a different kind of love, a puppy love even. Maybe I'd go so far as to saying that it could have possibly been infatuation.
Whatever the case, I'm hopeful to maybe find that person I can fall IN love with someday, but I'm in no rush. I'm content. ^_______^ For now I can look back fondly I guess. I never regret something that made me smile atleast once in the past. :3

Oh, and Nickoli, congratulations!!! I wish you the best in your relationship. ^///^

[Guendolen_Sama]

Aw! I'm glad I'm remembered. :) Which one was that again, now? Please do refresh my memory. It's been so long.... But yes, many people are blase about relationships these days. But teenagers change like the wind. Their moods shift hot and cold at a moment's notice. There are those who don't grow out of it; but your average person changes as they mature. Me, I'm just more concerned about those who will determinedly tie themselves to a specific person when they decide they're "in love," only to find that these things change as they get older. I've seen it happen. People grow and alter as they age. The person who set you atwitter at sixteen is unlikely to have the same effect ten years later, because you'll both be very different people. I'm more worried about someone making a major move they'll regret later because they decided, in the flush of the time, that their feelings meant more than they really did.

[rockerchic24]

Well, yeah, that's also why I think it's not logical to date before highschool, though. I'm not planning on even going to the same highschool as everyone else in my school, so why date guys from here? I'll fall out of touch and no doubt forget them when I go to college.

I am a romantic though, and because I'm too mature for my years, and have a non-exsistant love life, I just read a lot of romance novels. x3

When I think about that, Guen, I think 'Jack and Diane'. >_> I'm such a nerd.

[Guendolen_Sama]

Your love life is non-existant? Try mine. I think the only people my age more celibate than me are nuns. And likely not even some of them. :P Though despite being in a similar set-up to yours, I have to admit I've gone a route more cynical than romantic (even though I enjoy a good romance roleplay). But that could be why I can readily observe; I've always been the observer, so my opinion is uncolored.

[Nickoli]

I don't honestly remember. I had brought up DW though, and we were talking about the RPs we had together when we were still just bffs, and we (the three of us) were in something vampire related. I don't know. But its just so hard to find someone who is so story- and so character driven like you are.

Thats exactly what I feel life should do. Starting out that way, like you said BlytheOhBabyy. And with such a way of words you said it too. That you work your way to love. Some people find it right away, but most people think they got it, but its not quite there yet. But they aren't willing to admit to others, or even themselves, that its not true love, that it is a serious relationship, a strong bond.

But this is why I love you (but I'm not IN love with you. Though that would be funny), Guen. We have the same brain. Haha.

And thanks, BlytheOhBabyy.


Sometimes when I don't get enough sleep my mind just overanalyzes everything...

[rockerchic24]

I observe a lot, too. People around me have extremely active love lives.

I don't know though, thinking about this. I have seen infatuations last for at least three years...

[Guendolen_Sama]

You know, yes, sometimes we are eerily similar.... Hee hee. ;) We're kindred spirits! And you know, that premise does ring a bell.... Vaguely, but it does. Just a little. I still want to get into something with you, now you're back! Nothing ever meets my criteria, though. One of the side effects of being heavily driven by plot and character is being very, very particular. And it seems like hardly anything is literate enough for me, anymore. Or even if the intro looks like it is, it gets peopled by players who aren't. There's this one girl in particular- I won't name names because that's not nice- who seems to be all over everything, and she's a total twit, so I refuse to play with her, but she seems to be joining everything under the sun, now....
But I digress. I think what many people forget is there are different kinds of love, both romantic and otherwise. Some last a lifetime, but others burn themselves out or just fade away. Which is why so many are so eager to assume what they feel now is that lifetime feeling. When instead, it could well eventually be dust on the wind, and in fact more likely than not will. We can have more than one long-term feeling, yes, if we're lucky. But not every time is that time. Too many people forget that.

[Guendolen_Sama]

It's amazing what basic human stubbornness can accomplish.


I don't know though, thinking about this. I have seen infatuations last for at least three years...

[rockerchic24]

And in the human I'm thinking about, he is indeed the living epitome of stuborness. :rolleyes:

[Guendolen_Sama]

There you go, then. Some people will stubbornly latch onto something, and that includes a feeling. They grab on like a bulldog and won't let go, because they're determined it's how things are "supposed" to be.

[Nickoli]

I think I know who you mean. But we could always lasso one or two people, or even just us, into a RP. That would rock.

One of the things I got out of going to Catholic schools were the different kinds of love.

Desire – Attraction (epithumia)
Longing – Romance (eros)
Belonging – Affection (storge)
Cherishing – Friendship (phile)
Selfless Giving – Christian Love (agape)

[BlytheOhBabyy.]

Thank you Nickoli. ^_____^ Kind of sad that I would have to work my way to find love, siiigh.
I ust remembered you and I used to RP on my old account, "<Lilith.:.Winters>", and both you and Kyrin were in a Vampire RP I made last year lol. It was called something like 'Forever Night, Eternal Dreams', if I'm not mistaken? Lol, it's been so loooong. xD

Well, I guess I have a long time to find the person I'll be IN love with. I'm sixteen, which is still young I suppose. *Shrug* Sometimes I get impatient to be honest. x'3

[dyno_sammi]

Sorry, I'm probably one of those people you see here on dollwizard. I'm actually engaged. But I've been dating the guy for about 2 years before he asked. At first, we were just friends. But because we've been dating it doesn't mean we're in love. (Not saying we're not, of course. ;))
But I do understand what you mean. We've been going through counseling with each other, to get to know each other. We've got a while before we're finished but we think it'll help us decide if it's too soon or not. Some people do marry early but sometimes that ends in heartbreak. Love takes time.
Love, in my opinion, is caring about someone and giving them everything you can without expecting something in return. You give just because.

[Nickoli]

*scuffles toes* Thanks. *FLAILS* I so didn't know that was you! *glomp* You are so fun to RP with, girlie! Just know that. Well, we've had the time to get to the relationship we are at now. We met over five years ago and went to high school together. He's been my best friend and knows me better than I do. Everyone who knew us said its been a long time coming.

*unintentionally made this about myself.* Sorry.

But I don't think love is something you have to strive or worry about finding. I think if it is that IN love, it will just happen. Otherwise, its just another part of life, another relationship-good or bad.

[BlytheOhBabyy.]

Aww, thank you! *Glomps back* ^__________^
Ahah, it's alright. I think its the best think its the most romantic thing ever to fall in love with your best friend. x3 But that's just me lol. Not to make this sound like you two might get married, just incase you're not in that stage yet lol, but I believe that if you get married, your partner not only has to be your lover, but also your best friend. It'll make it all the more easier to get through tough times and through obstacles that come your way during the early years of marriage. =D

I think? x3333
Hope I dont sound naive lol. ^///^

[Guendolen_Sama]

Oh, yeah, I've heard about those different varieties of love. Funny, how so many get brushed to the wayside or lumped together.
You mean a one on one? Yeah, that would be fun! I must warn you, if I were involved in making a roleplay, it would likely be something odd that no one would join, or it would attract the wrong sort of person.... If any made it through all my strict and directly-phrased rules, that is. ;) Ideas include such notions as: an 18th century brothel (definitely attracting the wrong sort of people; I'd want to delve character and history, and they'd all be like, "Woo-hoo! Kinky!"), a Regency romance (a time period no one here seems to know anything about, other than me, and as I really like it and know a good bit, I'm bound to be strict and expect people to follow things correctly), a Japanese maid cafe (this one attracting the "Woo-hoo, everything Japan is better!" people with no originality whatsoever) or about the quirky fashion kids, like Gothic Lolitas and Ganguros and Visual Kei and what not who hang out at Harajuku in Tokyo (ditto to above). See what I mean? Besides, plots of some sort would be needed too. I'm... difficult, I guess.... These days, anyway.

I think I know who you mean. But we could always lasso one or two people, or even just us, into a RP. That would rock.

One of the things I got out of going to Catholic schools were the different kinds of love.

Desire – Attraction (epithumia)
Longing – Romance (eros)
Belonging – Affection (storge)
Cherishing – Friendship (phile)
Selfless Giving – Christian Love (agape)

[Guendolen_Sama]

I love this idea, in all honesty, and greatly support it. The strongest relationships I know of are the ones where those in them are friends, as well, and in fact started out as friends before they moved on to other things. I mean, my brother and his now-wife were friends for more than two years before they started dating. And they're so happy, it's unreal.

Aww, thank you! *Glomps back* ^__________^
Ahah, it's alright. I think its the best think its the most romantic thing ever to fall in love with your best friend. x3 But that's just me lol. Not to make this sound like you two might get married, just incase you're not in that stage yet lol, but I believe that if you get married, your partner not only has to be your lover, but also your best friend. It'll make it all the more easier to get through tough times and through obstacles that come your way during the early years of marriage. =D

I think? x3333
Hope I dont sound naive lol. ^///^

[BlytheOhBabyy.]

I love this idea, in all honesty, and greatly support it. The strongest relationships I know of are the ones where those in them are friends, as well, and in fact started out as friends before they moved on to other things. I mean, my brother and his now-wife were friends for more than two years before they started dating. And they're so happy, it's unreal.

Really? Yesss, brownie point for me, woo! ^///^
Oh, that's funny. As I'm replying to this relationship thread, "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure started playing. :3
<333333

[dyno_sammi]

I love this idea, in all honesty, and greatly support it. The strongest relationships I know of are the ones where those in them are friends, as well, and in fact started out as friends before they moved on to other things. I mean, my brother and his now-wife were friends for more than two years before they started dating. And they're so happy, it's unreal.

Thank you all. :] I'm liking the positive comments. It means a lot to me, really.

[Guendolen_Sama]

Well, it was meant to be general more than specific. I'm glad you're not rushing headlong into marriage straight out of high school, though. Just remember that in the years after, you will both grow and change a lot. So I'd make it a good long engagement, if I were you, just to be certain. At least finish college first. Those are some of your most strongly developmental years. Give yourself the chance without being so utterly fettered down.

[dyno_sammi]

I pretty much have to finish college because I'd been accepted into one before he asked me. It's a two-year college so it won't take that long and we both agreed we wouldn't regret it in the future. I'll need a good job to help support us.

[Guendolen_Sama]

Just don't plan it too quickly, okay? Give yourself some time in case you change your mind. Feelings this young may feel set in stone, but they not always are. You could be the exception to the rule. But then again, maybe not.